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Toothpaste trouble

Sometimes, in relationships, things fall down.

People become annoyed and upset by circumstances that perhaps didn't annoy them before or that they could suppress.

One of the classic examples of this is toothpaste squeezing.

Couples who fall out complain that the other person used to squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end of the tube.

I am a dentist, and I've never really understood which end is the correct end of the tube, but I know some people will have a clear view of this.

If you find yourself in a relationship where you are completely and utterly annoyed by which end of the toothpaste tube is being squeezed, the first thing you might do is discuss that in as kind a way as possible.

Perhaps ask the other person why they do that and explain why you feel that that might not be the ideal way to do it.

Perhaps the other person involved in this toothpaste-squeezing equation might explain to you why they do it in that way, and it may change your view.

If they are unable to change your view or unable to convince you that it's not a significant problem or an area where you can both compromise or even have your own toothpaste tubes, then it may be that your relationship has to separate.

If you find yourself separating based on toothpaste squeezing, it's perhaps best to have a discussion with your next partner about toothpaste squeezing before you get deep in.

Conflict resolution starts by understanding that you may not be correct and that taking someone else's opinion and adding it to the information that you already have might allow you to at least soften and accept or may allow them to soften and accept in their direction.

Rarely does shouting at someone ever change their behaviour.

By Colin Campbell on 06/10/23 18:00