I've done this before, but I don't think it loses its value in the retelling.
Over the years, I have had the enormous privilege of becoming a coach to different people in different circumstances and places, and one of the people I coach called me today, citing an issue with a supplier of their organisation and problems associated with that supplier.
I'll be slightly vague about this to protect confidences and things. Still, in effect a main supplier of the organisation who provides them with work was complaining that the amount of documentation that they were providing was not enough. They wanted more senseless, meaningless documentation.
My mentee, who was asking for advice, was basically asking for permission to tell the supplier to f*ck off and go somewhere else.
My response to the circumstance, the situation, and the question was to recount the story of the barrister who wrote to The Times many years ago to set the newspaper straight on some inaccuracies and downright slander that they had published in relation to the barrister and his work.
In the letter that he wrote to The Times, he proceeded to deconstruct the newspaper entirely as only the very highest level of barrister can do, but he did it in the nicest possible way, and as it was in December, he signed his letter off "With my very best wishes to you and your family for the festive season".
He had, in effect, executed the times with a smile on his face (fair play to them for publishing it).
This was the advice I gave my mentee when dealing with the supplier.
He was all for telling them to f*ck off, shout, scream, tell them how awful and terrible they were and explain to them that he would do fine without them, but the best way to finish these things is with a smile on your face and with courtesy and with good grace while leaving absolutely no room for doubt that you are in control and you are ending this situation, which is unacceptable.
It seems hard to do this at times when everything within us, our complete visceral reaction, is to scream and shout and gouge, but it's always better to end well, always better that we feel that we still have the upper hand in terms of dignity and integrity and intellect.
Blog Post Number - 3982
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