If you know me or have ever spent any time speaking to me, you'll understand that when everybody else was in the queue for good looks or natural athleticism or incisive intelligence or long hair or small noses, I was somewhere else.
I was at the front of the queue for emotional intelligence.
I have very little else going for me, but I do have a high level of emotional intelligence (measured).
I believe that that was learned; I don't think it was a naturally occurring gift that I was given from my parents. I think it was learned through a set of circumstances when I was being educated at school and some things that it turned out that I had to overcome that I didn't really realise I had to overcome until much later in life, and I saw my Children trying to overcome similar things.
But that aside, I am good in interpersonal circumstances most of the time, I also can feel a room and see a room even before I talk to a single person in that room.
I presume that is normal, but it turns out from speaking openly to other people that it's not.
The best way for me to describe things is that I can see the colours in the room; it's almost like clouds of emotion or experience or interaction.
I can very, very quickly see who is getting on and who isn't, people who are distressed and who aren't, people who are comfortable and people who are uncomfortable.
That is an extraordinary skill to develop if you want to work with people on a day-to-day basis or are trying to build a team.
It's probably how I've been successful at football coaching for boys for nine years (Successful is a loose word), but I have had some significant good times at football coaching in spite of the fact that I know absolutely nothing at all about football.
One of the interesting points that people with high levels of emotional intelligence can achieve is that they can finish conversations and finish conversations well without people feeling that they have been cut off or cast adrift or, insulted or annoyed.
That is particularly useful when you're working in a time-strict environment like a dental practice, a doctor's surgery, or any such thing.
The ability to end a conversation with someone well and move along is one of the most important communication tools you can have, and the level of importance only becomes apparent when you see someone who cannot finish a conversation.
There are times in my consultations or discussions with patients when even I struggle with this, but the vast majority of the time and the reason that I almost always stay on time in my clinic is that I'm able to say, "Ok, this is what we'll do. Next, it's been great to see you, see you later".
You should have a look at this yourself in all aspects of your life.
I've watched when I've been out on walks with my family, where there have been painful interactions with people. Both parties did not want to speak to each other, but no one could break the conversation for fear of looking rude.
These type of situations waste their life, they waste their energy.
It's another reason why emotional intelligence for our Children is so critical.
The ability to take control of your own time and to not have people able to steal it away through conversations or interpersonal chat that is of no purpose whatsoever is a gift, but certainly, a gift that you can learn how to apply and how to adapt to circumstances that allow you to move on to a better place.
I'm fascinated by emotional intelligence.
Finishing conversations is a test to see what level of emotional intelligence someone has. Watching people interact will give you a clue as to who's good and who isn't.
Blog Post Number - 3965
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