I subscribe to the psychological heuristic the peak-end rule, it certainly applies to various aspects of life which are particularly time limited including the procedures that I carry out for patients and also things like holidays and events.
One of the reasons I turned to this way of thinking and subscription to this philosophy is that I realised that whilst I was on holiday there were periods where I didn’t really enjoy myself but when I returned from holiday I would look back and think it was some of the best times of my life.
This was particularly relevant when my children were little and we used to take them on pedalos with another family in Italy, so Mike and I (the dads) would end up with 5 children on a pedalo and it was absolute torture for an hour, but the children seemed to like it for about 15 minutes after which is was terrible.
If you go back to the children now, they talk about those pedalo experiences like they were the best thing in the world whereas Mike and I laugh about how difficult they seemed to us.
Despite the fact that the pedalos were difficult for us, the overall holidays seemed brilliant.
This is because we created memories based on the peak of the experience and the end of the experience and an average of those in between.
Once you appreciate this and also if you keep a diary of things from time to time you’ll see a pattern emerging and so, as I lead up to the next big thing that I’m doing on a bike (or trying to do and probably failing dramatically – see future blogs for that) I understand that the nerves or the anxiety or the difficulty in getting organised or the stress of going away for a week and leaving everything at home and at work pale into insignificance when the memory is created at the other side.
I’ve made a habit of doing these trips away for adventures over the last 10 years and the format is the same.
The week before is rubbish because when I think I should be at my most excited and most enthusiastic, I just feel overwhelmed by the logistics of getting things ready or packing or trying to keep things stable at home and trying to avoid any confrontation because I’m just about to take 7 days out of my life and relinquish all my responsibilities for work and family and all of that stuff in a purely selfish pursuit.
But that’s ok, because this is part of the process of creating memories that I will look back to and say “wasn’t that brilliant”.
On Sunday, Louis and Alex and Carl and I will set off at something like 5.45am to drive to the other end of France, on the Spanish border, to ride bikes and spend time together and see a different place and to make memories that we’ll probably remember for the rest of our lives.
So, as I pack and forget and try to play the impossible game of balance between work and family and self, I understand that this is part of the process.
In 2018, I flew to Venice for the first of these multi-day events that I did and the lead up to that was rubbish.
One of my best friends, David, got injured in the lead up to it quite badly and was unable to travel.
One of my other friends that was going just didn’t turn up and so, I roped in Simon (my bike coach and friend) even though he wasn’t ready or fit enough to take on such a challenge.
On the first day, Simon and I rode together, and it was an absolutely terrible experience as we nearly got swept up by the broom waggon and Simon just couldn’t keep up with the pace.
I was stuck between a place where I was fitter than him and wanting to cycle on but again, not wanting to leave him even though he was telling me to. The final climb up the Passo Sella which lasted about 21km was pure brutal torture and then I reached the top and parked my bike up and Simon told me that he wasn’t cycling the next day.
I can remember that vividly, but I can also remember that the next day was the best day I ever had on a bike and I can also remember after the final day (a brutal 8km time-trial up a very steep hill) Simon and I raced for the town sign on the way home.
I look back on 2018 and the Haute Route Dolomites as one of the best adventure experiences I’ve had, not because it was all brilliant but because some of it was terrible and difficult and that made the rest of it wonderful and amazing.
Next week will be sad and disappointing and I won’t be where I wanted to be but then I will be in an amazing place, with amazing people, indulging in an enormous privilege and if I can’t make the best of that and make it into something very special then there must be something very wrong with me.
Blog Post Number - 3129
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