French Toast Mafia is the weird and stupid name given to our relay triathlon team in 2017 by Louis Dunne.
In those days, Louis was given special permission to run two miles at the end of a race while other people were doing the swim, bike, and run.
That permission was given to Louis, basically as a tribute to him and to his dad, who died the year before.
Since then, French Toast Mafia has raced many times in relay triathlons in different locations, but mostly at Holme Pierrepont in Nottingham and the Outlaw Half and Outlaw Full.
Yesterday, it was time to resurrect French Toast Mafia for the Outlaw half, and this time, it was Tom Reason (our education and marketing director) and I who did the race.
French Toast Mafia has had more members than the band Spinal Tap and certainly with about the same talent, although we have had one guy who set a course record on the swim for the Outlaw once and Louis is close to being a professional triathlete.
It's fair to say that my preparation was far from ideal, having not been in open water in a wetsuit since 2020 and having only ridden my time trial bike (aggressive arse up, arms down, sore back) for 62 minutes prior to this. I had ridden my normal bike for quite a lot longer.
And so I was up at 3.50 am to watch the sunrise at Holme Pierrepont before getting into the water and having at least 10 minutes of my body saying, 'What the f*cking hell are you doing to me?' before I actually got into any rhythm.
For those who are interested, the swim took about 43 minutes, my bike (56 miles) took about two hours 53, and Tom's run took around 1 hour 42.
But that wasn't really the point entirely; the point was how you feel afterwards, the benefit you have for getting there and the metaphor it has for the rest of your life.
At the front of this race, there are some extraordinary athletes, guys who are professionals or verging on professionals, guys who are specimens who control their whole life around this and who dedicate hours and hours and hours and opportunities in other areas and relationships and lots of other things to be at the very pinnacle.
The winner came over the line in 3hrs 56.
I swam and biked, and Tom ran, so we never did the whole thing, but it still took us 5 hours and 23 minutes.
And that's the metaphor, isn't it?
At the front are them and in the middle or at the back are us surrounded by normal people, what I always call the 80%.
These are people whose lives are not dominated by triathlon, but they're just trying to do their best on the day.
These are people who are trying to enjoy themselves.
These are people who are proud of what they're doing, and so are their families.
These are the people who get cheered on.
These are the people who actually make the money for the organisers of the Outlaw.
Most of the guys at the front get it for free (like the guys who turn up to speak on the main stage at a conference who also get paid)
The rest of us keep the economy going, and 80% of people in the competent bit are just trying our best to make a memory for ourselves or to feel a sense of achievement just for a little while.
That's what the Outlaw Triathlon has always done best: make you feel like an athlete for five or 12 hours on a Sunday so you could go back with your t-shirt and your medal and bask in the glory of what you had achieved that so many other people couldn't even in normal life.
We had the best day, our families came down to watch as the sun was shining, we had an ice cream after the event as Tom crossed the line, Tom and I even managed to get that legendary Edinger photograph, which is attached to this blog, for those of you who followed us for some time, know that Louis Dunne was in several times with myself and my friend Mike Sosin in the first years after he lost his dad.
I'm massively emotionally attached to this race.
Immediately after getting off the bike and feeling broken and busted, Tom's girlfriend, Josie, asked, "Did you enjoy yourself?" I said, "Call a press conference. I want to announce my retirement from triathlon relay"."
I decided to postpone the press conference.
You never know.
Blog Post Number - 3813
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