It’s been many years since I saw Edward De Bono (the author of lateral thinking and six thinking hats) speaking live in London.
One of the things I do remember about him speaking was his discussion around the essence of conflict resolution.
Bono described a perspex box with the problem (the cause of the conflict) in the centre of the box. He explained that in order to resolve a conflict it’s necessary to be able to, in a metaphorical sense, walk around the box and look at the problem from all angles.
Sometimes I return back to the Bono’s box when I’m confronted with conflict at home or at work or anywhere else in my life but it seems, as I look around, that no-one has ever learnt that lesson or even heard of it.
I’m cycling quite a lot again at the moment (I’m loving it) but clearly there is a risk associated with clipping in and riding away from my front gate and although I can mitigate that risk I can never properly remove it.
The alternative to that would be to ride in the shed but the risk of always riding in the shed is dying of boredom.
So, on two different rides this week two different things happened which demonstrated the direction that some of the world is travelling in, from an individual view and the ‘rights’ that they think they have.
Firstly, was Wednesday morning as Louis and I rode to a small village close to my house.
Part of the mitigation of the risk that I discussed above, I’ve recently invested in a more expensive front light (£90) which is quite powerful and gives oncoming traffic a much earlier and better view of me riding in poor light conditions in the winter.
I deliberately set that on a low setting and tilt it downwards and have it on flash mode so that it wouldn’t blind anyone as they head towards me and perhaps take me out on the bike.
As we were cycling through the village there is another cyclist in front of us and we overtake him at which point he decides to have a massive go at me for the brightness of my light which is lighting up a road sign further up the road.
I was under the impression that the purpose of having a light on your bike was to shine a light so that other people can see you and so that it might actually light the way in front of you.
I’m absolutely certain that this is what the lights on my car are for.
The cyclist began to shout at me that my light was too bright and so I just said to him that this is what I thought it was for at which point he stopped shouting and we rode on.
My light was shining on his back and lighting the way in front of him so he could see better, even though it was day light.
What type of bad day are you having that you begin to shout at people that you don’t know for having a light on their bike?
Rewind a couple of days earlier and Louis and I are riding through a modern suburban setting called Gamston (where I used to live in Nottingham) and we were riding two abreast.
For people who read this blog who are not cyclists or have never read the highway code, it is entirely legitimate and legal for cyclists to ride two abreast.
Cyclists are in fact known to be safer if they cycle two abreast because they take up space on the road which is more like a car, making other cars pass wider around them and putting them at less risk.
Louis and I have ridden tens of thousands of miles together and so we understand each others riding quite well and sometimes we will ride two abreast where it seems appropriate and other times in single file.
As we travelled up a small rise through Gamston at about 20mph a lady behind us in a Fiat 500 with a mask on in her car and with a passenger beside her with a mask on in the car and with her windows closed decided to start beeping the horn as we were riding two abreast!!
That is entirely at odds with the highway code and in fact can get you three points for driving without due care and attention and using you horn as a rebuke (not a warning).
What type of moron decides to beep at two cyclists who are travelling at approx 20 mph through a built up area because they have to wait 15 seconds in order to pass them?
Perhaps the type of moron that wears a mask in their car.
It’s interesting because when you confront these people when you ride after them until they stop and have a conversation, they feel unsafe and threatened.
When they come out of their tin box on wheels and have to discuss with you the right or wrong about beeping at vulnerable cyclists, they feel bullied.
What they fail to realise is that being beeped at by a car that’s behind you on a suburban road makes a cyclist feel bullied.
I clearly use cycling as a metaphor for how we speak to each other and how we address confrontation.
More and more peoples lives are too busy, they drink from the fire hose too much and have no time to consider what it might be like to see the world through the eyes of someone else.
I’m allowed to ride my bike and you’re allowed to drive your car and we can both occupy the same road and the same space with courtesy and respect and some degree of tolerance.
Every so often my bike will hit your car or your car will hit my bike.
When that happens perhaps we can have a conversation about that instead of always screaming and shouting at each other and hoping that the person who makes the greatest amount of noise is the most valid.
Blog Post Number - 2903
Leave a comment