It's been over 5 years now since I reached the point of trying to build a practice, where we almost lost everything.
In May 2020, Alison and I were as close as you could ever want to get to losing your house without losing your house after everything that had gone on and everything that had happened and was happening at that time, the future was extraordinarily uncertain, and certainly our future was as uncertain as it possibly could be.
During that time, I continued to write the blog and worked and dictated emails, and I had to use an SD card reader to convert my SD card voice files into a file that I could send to Marie to do the blogs or whoever was working on that type of stuff at the time.
The thing was, I didn't have a lot of money then, and I probably felt like I had a lot less money than even I had. That was when I was reusing tea bags (no joke); I wasn't asking anyone else in my family or at work to do the same. It was just a symbolic thing that I could do myself to save a little bit more money.
One of the days I was working, I broke my SD card reader, stupidly, bent it. I needed to buy a new one. I was stuck in the dilemma of having to spend money to get an SD card reader as quickly as I could to continue to write the blog or to answer emails. But then having to spend money on that thing that I couldn't bring myself to spend.
I'd cancelled all my subscriptions at that time, pretty much everything that I could, and so I didn't have Amazon Prime, so I'd have to pay for next-day delivery. I bought the cheapest SD card reader I could on Amazon, subscribed to Prime, and cancelled it the next day. I think it cost me something like 60 pence for Prime for that one day, and then I had an SD card reader, and then I could carry on again.
The other day I took that SD card reader out of my bag, I went to insert it, missed and bent it, and it's broken. So that token of that time passed is gone, chucked out (I'm not keeping bent SD card readers as tokens in my office), but everything that went with it, everything I felt, everything I went through. It's still pretty much there.
I sometimes wonder if that's affected me for the worse, not the better.
I sometimes wonder if getting that close to a terrible place makes it harder for me to risk going forward.
Maybe getting close to bankruptcy means that you're much more scared of bankruptcy; therefore, you need much more safety before you can catapult again.
Interesting thoughts.
When you have got nothing to lose, there is nothing to lose.
Blog Post Number - 4246
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