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40. The Stream of...

Colin Campbell
by Colin Campbell on 02/02/18 18:00

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40. The Stream of Consciousness - published 28.11.2014

So today I reached the end of the re publishing of the blogs for the time that I’ve been off work as I prepare to come back on Monday. It seemed fitting to publish this blog which was published on the 28th November 2014 about 2 months before I published I published the first part of the GDC blog and just over a month before I got my determination. It's worth re publishing this (from my point of view at least) for two reasons. 

  1. It explains how the blog works, what it is and why I do it
  2. It gives an insight into how devastating the GDC case was and how much it sucked my self-esteem and self-worth away from me.

The name that probably comes up mostly in this blog when referencing other people is Chris Barrow and it's listed below. That is not by accident. It was Chris who inspired and encouraged me to write in the first place while we were meeting regularly. He was transforming my business into the successful and wonderful thing it is today. It's also worth mentioning at this point that he has given me some of the greatest and most valuable advice over the past 10 years and I will be forever grateful for that and for what he has done. The blog would not have started without Chris and in truth it probably wouldn’t have started again. So, if you have ever enjoyed anything that has been written it's probably worth raising a Friday night glass to him today. 

 

If anyone is reading this (and I appreciate there may be no-one) they have probably read a blog I have posted before over the past three or four years.

You may even have noticed that there hasn’t been a blog for a while and the reasons for this will perhaps become clearer over the coming weeks and months.

I have had a really difficult time for a while (for various reasons that I will not go into at this stage) and in essence, it racked my confidence and made me feel that I had no business sharing my thoughts with everyone else. It was pointed out to me the other day (by Chris Barrow, who first inspired and encouraged me to write a blog) that infact, at times like this it is more important to write, not less important.

I have to realise that there is a percentage of people who will see writing a blog or the content of my blog as a load of old shit, but I know and believe that there are others who find it useful to dip into the stream of consciousness that is provided. Particularly to know that they are not alone in their struggles with trying to live up to who they’re supposed to be in the modern world.

I have always been the guy who stands up at the front and shares his troubles and this has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion but I am hard wired to do this and I cannot survive any other way. The best way to describe me is ‘heart on my sleeve’

Over the next weeks, months and (hopefully) years, this blog will develop and continue and become and archive of where I was, what I thought and what I saw everybody else doing because in the end I am like Sherlock Holmes “I see everything, that is my curse” and my mouth is big enough that I am happy to talk about it.

For the record; the way the blog works, and far from being ashamed of this I am hugely proud of this, is that I dictate the blogs on a digital dictation machine and they are typed up by the marvellous Marie Price-Hood (formerly Kiley) and she designs, types and sources the images for it and publishes them on Word Press.

Marie does that because she is brilliant at it and I provide the stream of consciousness because I am mad enough to do that and, like everything else in my life, whatever is produced is a team effort.

People have said to me in the past that they stopped reading my blog because they knew it wasn’t me who wrote it. To clarify that, I do not type it (well not often) but the stream of consciousness is all my own.

We will continue to publish on social media but will try to actively encourage people to engage in RSS feeds which we will set up to allow this to drop into email inboxes because social media is dying and people are fed up! The benefit of and RSS or direct email drop is that you don’t get an advert that comes with it.

Over the years of writing the blog it has been a huge pleasure when people have come up to me and said, “I read your blog” and these are invariably people who don’t comment on it. If you have anything to say, to agree or disagree, then that is infact the point of what we’re doing here. It is to open up and share thoughts and discussion and for us all to realise that we are not alone in the difficulties that we face and infact, to show vulnerability is the only way to receive vulnerability back and the only way to live.

I am sorry for the gap if you have enjoyed the blog posts before but we are back with a vengeance and will continue now. If I can summon up the courage and the strength (and I don’t know if I can) I might even tell you why they stopped.

Enjoy, share, keep in touch and most of all keep your chin up. It is hard for all of us at times; let’s just talk about it.

 

Blog post number: 1541

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Colin Campbell
Written by Colin Campbell
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