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In modern society now most of us have many, many more roles than ‘just our job’. 

It’s difficult to be the same person in each of these different areas and it might be worth thinking about the point of what you’re doing every time you put a different hat on. 

In my life it goes a little bit like this… 

I’m sure my wife would completely disagree but this is effectively my most important job because the role of being a husband is the foundation for all the rest of the work that I do. That doesn’t mean I spend all my time with my wife, it means that I understand where my responsibilities lie and also that when it comes to things at home, generally, my wife is the boss. 

(By design I’m absolutely delighted with that arrangement). 

2) Dad 

The way things currently stand, I can’t be a proper dad without first being a proper husband (while that circumstance may change for any number of reasons but at the moment that is the role). It doesn’t mean I spend all my time with my children but it means I must try as hard as I can despite the exhaustion and stress and conflict, to try to set the example to my children that I want to set. 

3) The boss at work 

Whatever that might mean and how it’s changed over the years, the role of leading the organisation is the most important role that I have despite the fact that every other stress in the business pulls me away from that role almost everyday. 

4) The clinician and surgeon 

This is where I set or try to set the best example in the business, not by the Monday meetings where I talk philosophy or by the videos on Slack or by writing a blog or by the clothes that I wear but by the work that I do and looking after the patients which is the fundamental basis of our practice. 

5) Football coach 

This is an interesting role because I basically ‘work’ for the club and therefore have to toe the line with the roles that the cub has and the philosophies that it has and undertakes. 

I have a responsibility to look after a group of boys, the main purpose of which is to teach them about life and fun and enjoyment and the benefits of physical exercise and the benefits of competition and respect. 

This job also involves a lot of clearing up of stuff that people leave behind, quite a lot of admin and quite a lot of heartache. 

6) School governor and education trustee 

This role is soon to be revamped in a different direction, working with a school who are a million miles away in terms of their social standing and provision of education and a school which I sent my children to. 

This is a faceless, sometimes high effort, ‘reward' free job which nobody see’s and that’s exactly how it should be. 

The most challenging part of that role and understanding my position there is that it’s not to represent my children in anyway. It doesn’t matter if my son or daughter have failed a test or I don’t like their teacher, that’s not my job as a school governor, my job as a school governor is to look after everybody else’s children and making sure the school is effective. 

Somewhere down this list I should be a friend, sometimes I’m not as good a friend as I should be, understanding my responsibilities of being a friend to the people who I choose to be friendly with is another conflict that I have to deal with. 

What the above demonstrates to me is that I’m privileged enough sometimes in my work to be asked to lead and sometimes in my work outside of work to be asked to follow. Trying to walk the tightrope of knowing when to follow and when to try to lead, of knowing when to advise and when to keep your mouth shut, or knowing when to try to be popular and trying to be anonymous is exhausting but in the world we live in now where all of us hold many different roles, it’s essential to try to understand that the Colin that turns up in one place might not be the Colin who turns up in another. 

Trying to educate my children to understand that the world is a complex place and thinking about the way that we think is probably one of the most important high-level skills to develop in an ever-changing world with ever-changing roles. 

Blog Post Number - 2863