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Grieving is a bad thing, it’s painful and terrible but it does sometimes give you strength or clarity of focus.

Grieving in advance is different.

You can project and anticipate when something will be gone and you won’t have it anymore - it’s possible to enjoy the moment right now and it’s such a better way to grab the experience and hold it.

I’m on my sabbatical period (apparently) but I’m busier than ever right now, although in the 3 weeks to the end of January there will be a bit more space in my life to do the things I’m supposed to do in this period.

Today though, as I write this, I was hellish busy all over the place with some crazy stuff that I’ll be able to tell you in a little while that I’ve been holding off on.

Alison asked me to collect Callum from school at 3:30pm which is right in the middle of the afternoon when I could be doing some work and ticking some lists off.

But he’s in Year 6 and it’s January. In July he won’t be in Year 6 anymore.

When he moves to Year 7 he’ll walk himself like the girls did and he won’t want me collecting him from school because that won’t be cool.

For more than 10 years I’ve (sporadically) collected my kids from primary school. They look for you when they come out the gate and they love to see you, even at this stage when they think it’s cool not to show it to their mates.

They tell you all about their day and it’s a total joy. Even when you think you could be doing something ‘better’ or something ‘more productive’ you’re probably never doing anything better than that.

As I was about to moan to Alison that I had too much to do I managed to flick the ‘grieve in advance’ switch and realised that next January, if I have any time off work, Callum won’t want me to collect him.

I loved it today, I walked past the pond with my dog and I collected my son and his best friend from school. I brought them home and gave them biscuits and let them play X Box. Then I had a little bit of time to write a blog.

That’s the best of both worlds I think.

That’s the balance and that’s what grieving in advance lets you see.

Blog Post Number: 1890