It was 2008 that Tal Ben-Shahar published his book Happier and I listened to it on audio book and I’d repeatedly listen to it on audio book because it’s one of the cleverest things I’ve ever known.
One of the things he suggests is that it’s not enough to try to be happy, it’s to be happier.
Even the saddest person can become slightly more happy, they will never become ‘happy’ but they can become happier.
That is our pursuit I think; is to feel a bit better.
So it’s eyes down and ‘look in’ for potentially a long, dark winter.
You’re the master of your narrative though, you’re the captain of your ship and you can put in place some ‘happiness boosters’ as Shahar calls them to help you along the way like stepping stones across the stream.
I’m not suggesting you should wish your life away (that is the worst possible way to live a life) but I am suggesting that little signposts along the way to boost your spirits are a wonderful way to navigate what is to come.
So for what it’s worth here are a few of mine that I will try to stick to (and probably won’t but for me there is joy in the preparation):
- Cinema cub with my great friend Stuart Reekie.
Once a month, used to be in a cinema but is now taking place in the academy space (if we’re allowed) to share a movie, to talk about it and then to walk the dog. A packet of minstrels and a cup of tea and glorious satisfaction.
- Insanity muscle club with my great friend and colleague Carl Dunstan.
This will start back in the first week of October and will be at least 2 mornings a week at 6.30 am in my garage with coffee and music and the pain of trying to be fitter.
- The Mustangs football.
Friday nights and games on Sundays (for as long as they’re allowed) or ad hock training through a covid environment if they’re not. It always seems like such a hassle to get there and it’s such a joy when you’re finished.
- Sunday morning bike rides from 7-9 am ‘with the squirrels’.
I gave these up so much throughout lockdown and it’s so great to be back once a week getting up early and not wanting to get up, drinking coffee and then setting out on my bike at 7 am to ride faster than I’m able to with a group of boys fitter than me. - Beer club.
To be absolutely re-instigated now with my friend Mike Sosin, either in my back garden or his back garden or in a pub if we’re allowed. It’s pretty much three pints because it’s a school night but it’s conversation with someone much cleverer than me, with a much clearer view of the world than I have so it’s a real joy.
- All of the contacts with guys that come to the clinic for education who are, without any exception a complete joy and a privilege to be involved in.
- Planning Christmas and the movies that I’ll watch and Grace being home from University, and the kids being off school and shutting down and lighting a fire and being safe.
- Looking at the snowdrops when they arrive.
- Looking at the daffodils when they arrive.
- Planning a winter schedule of training of maybe swimming and maybe cycling and maybe adventures for 2021 that I won’t talk about yet and not making those plans and being frustrated and then making them a bit and then being fitter than I thought I’d be.
This is the narrative that I write for myself, some of the little steppingstones to make it through the harder times. I hope you’ll do the same, I promise it’s worth it.
Blog Post Number - 2503
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