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It was Mike Tyson who reportedly said “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”

This is how the ‘arguing in advance’ thing works.

I received a message on my phone the other day (it’s always the f****ing phone now isn’t it?) that really made me cross.

I spent the whole of the dog walk thinking about exactly how to deal with this, exactly what I was going to say and exactly how I was going to respond to it until I got back home and there was a different message which changed the game entirely.

Rehearsing arguments is probably the biggest waste of time because the actions and reactions of the person you’re arguing with will not be predictable (and neither will your own)

It’s much better to sit down for ten minutes, take a deep breath (mindfulness?) so that you can come to the situation calmly and honestly.

Dealing with these situations with honesty about how you feel and about the situation gives you the best chance of predictably returning to the situation again later and saying the same thing.

I have worked hard to stop this process and it has been ages since I’ve rehearsed an argument or a conversation like this because it’s stress upon stress about something that will not even happen or certainly won’t proceed the way you think.

Blog Post Number: 1853