It’s been days since I did the time trial in the Outlaw X triathlon on Sunday 27th September.
I’d set off on the bike about 7.45 am and by the time it got to 9.15 I decided that I was never doing that again and that it was ridiculous and I was too old and too sore and too fat and too broken and too ridiculous looking to do this again.
Yesterday the photos came through from the official photography people and so I braved it and had a look.
It’s not quite the view of myself that I would like to see, not like that favourite photo of mine from the haute route in 2018.
I can argue that I’ve got more clothes on because it’s cold but that isn’t going to fool anybody!
I can remember back to what it felt like in that 30 minutes between 90 and 120 and how I was berating myself for being so stupid just to put myself through the torture of this.
The truth is though that the time trial on a bike is the ‘truth teller’ you cannot hide anywhere and you get exactly what you deserve (unless you fall off or your bike snaps).
If you finish the course; you get what you deserve.
Your training or the lack of it. Your equipment, preparation or the lack of it. Your head space, your psychology, your attitude (or the lack those) reflect in what you get.
I was not disappointed with my ridiculously slow time on the 27th September because I got exactly what I deserved.
I don’t say that with bitterness or with any issue around it, I was delighted to get what I deserve because I could have got worse.
From here though the peak-end rule applies, so the real horribleness of the middle of that truth telling triathlon is offset by the fact that the end part was lovely and the time that I spent with Mike and Louis amidst all of those other people felt great.
And so the 30 minutes is washed away and I’m back on it again; training for the winter for something bigger and better and another adventure.
Blog Post Number - 2513
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