I have been wanting and trying to write this blog for ages and, in fact, it had sat in the drafts folder for the whole of my sabbatical so far.
Finally found the time (actually the courage), to write it.
I think the majority of us are addicts or at least people with a propensity to become addicted to something.
I used to work with a guy a long time ago who said' "everyone has a vice or vices, if you can't see their vice brownie points in public that is sinister".
While I'm not sure this is actually whole true picture you perhaps get the point. Only the very strongest people I know seem to be able take complete control of their lives without being affected by the things which are hugely addictive.
By strongest I don't mean rich, money is one of those addictive substances I'm talking about.
My list of hugely addictive material that "normal" people are exposed to on a day to day basis are as follows.
Alcohol
Refined carbohydrate (my very very worst)
Television
Tobacco (less and less)
Smart phones (the very worst I think)
Social media (usually in conjunction with smart phones)
Money
Not an exhaustive list I know but one which is long enough to show you that if you are subject to the pull of almost any of these you can't get away.
Just for example let's say you identified the fact that you were becoming addicted to refined carbs.
How do you break that?
Unless you live alone and totally control your intake you are surrounded by the stuff almost all day every day, especially at the shops, so you can't get away, trying to limit or stop your intake of heavily refined sugar in those circumstances is like an alcoholic trying to go dry while living and working in a pub.
Each of the things in the list is a blog in its own right but in the interested of 1200 words or less let's focus on the title.
If you are pulled towards Facebook the way I have been read this first. It starts to explain the dopamine effect and the reason you need to look all the time. It explains the physiological basis of chasing likes.
In a world where the dice are loaded towards interruption and where almost all business models depend on this, where do we find peace? Well the truth is we can't because the more we interrupt, the more we become addicted interruptions and the less we have the ability to think and concentrate deeply and the cycle spirals down.
Worse and worse and worse is that we are all shouting at our kids for too much electricals from behind our phones while we check our emails or texts or Facebook to get the same dopamine hit that we can't get away from that we have introduced our kids to and are trying to get them to stop but they can't because they are addicted like us.
"and the needle returns to the start of the song and we all carry on like before".
Did you buy your kids a phone for xmas.........well done.
I am the worst and have been the worst for all of this. A self confessed early adopting approval junkie who chased friends on Facebook and followers on twitter.
I have 1200 on Facebook and over 2000 on twitter but not because most of those people like me, they only "like" me.
If I was to look back at my experiences and interactions on Facebook there have been some positive things, some good connections that I have enjoyed but this is absolutely not in line with the among of time and more importantly the amount of emotion and attention I have given it. I have loved some of the contacts I have made but hated some of the interchanges that have occurred and despised my reflections of time wasted that I could have spent on much more quality.
Another real problem with Facebook is the messaging service.
I don't use the service much at all, I almost never instigate a conversation but many people do with me.
Since 2015 I have taken Facebook and messenger off my phone to limit access and control time spent so I don't get or see all the messages.
For one reason or another I loaded the messenger app on my phone in December and found dozens of messages I never saw lying unanswered. Some really nice ones other for work asking things.
For a short while I felt bad about that, some dated back to 2014 but that is not my fault, I cannot possibly be accessible by phone, email, Fb, twitter and god knows what else 24hrs a day.
Going forwards I won't have time in my life to check FB every 2 minutes to see what people I don't know are doing with people I care not too much about (that seems to be what the algorithm gives me now), I am not keen on the adverts. I don't have or don't want the space to constantly answer messages.
For that reason the sabbatical space was essential to see if the lack of access to Facebook led to a worse life, a better life or was neither.
It's obviously better.
There have been one or two things it would have been useful for.
My Son's football team won their first ever cup game on Sunday, the draw is tonight, live on the Facebook page of the league, that is a good reason to use it!
For some of the good bits I'll keep Facebook, but only for about 20 people and the pages that enhance my life positively.
I'll view it 2 s a week when I answer emails, weds and fridays.
I'll communicate professionally through the Academy page, that is right and proper and the blog will go there too.
I realize that some people who read the blog won't see it anymore and that's ok, it's not like it's hard to find or get. I'd like to think that people who like it will access it one of the many ways that are possible.
I have learned more keenly than ever over the last few weeks that the tools we have available to us are truly extraordinary but only if they remain tools.
The manufactures agenda does not suit most of us and, for me at least, it's time to reclaim parts of my life that I (willingly) gave to them.
If I were to change 2 things through this time off that would improve my life the most it would be to do this and sort out the fecking carbs!
It seems sometimes in these pages all I do is offer problems with no solutions. For this I will change things.
I will work very very hard to use my amazing access to devices and technologies to benefit my life and others and not rule me.
I will set an example to my kids of how to do that.
Working on both.
Blog Post Number: 1185
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