Today (so far) I have been mostly thinking about choices.
Inevitably this will lead on to choices in and about my work but it started with me thinking about the choices of things I have today, on a fairly low level.
For a very short while I have as much time as I want and enough money (within some reason) to do whatever I want with that time.
So what does that look and feel like because I think it is a place that most of us would like to go, or at least I thought it was.
Being honest I have struggled just a little bit this week with the enormity of the choices that are in front of me.
Being me I feel a huge responsibility to use this privileged time well and in that process I am failing to do that. You would think I would be walking around in a state of constant unbridled joy but that is simply not the case.
The fact is I have a list (several actually) and I didn't think I would do that. Because of the circumstances of my time away from work the lists are becoming bigger and bigger and bigger with all sorts of nonsense from crazy domestic diy projects to diet redesign and "fun work stuff", whatever the hell that means.
Any idea goes on the list and then it becomes a task, a job that needs prioritised and actioned, in fact it becomes the work. It becomes work that I have a choice to do or not but the growing length of the list now makes the time I have, which seem almost infinite, seem very short and restricted.
The wealth of choices of things to do then becomes overwhelming and paralysing so no choice is made and then almost nothing is done.
Then comes the guilt from doing nothing.
Please don't think I am looking for pity, I'm not. I see quite clearly how unbelievably lucky I am.
It's just worth pointing out that for us Generation X'ers the addiction to doing is a a hard one to break, I think we find it easier to do than to be.
I will sort this easily over the next few days. Today I write this blog and bike for 3 hrs and that is plenty. The rest is for my family.
But the whole thing got me thinking again about how I look after my patients who come to me to look into, often many multiple, choices in their treatment.
It's well know from the famous jam research in the malls in America that too many choices leads to to no choice at all.
When this is all over (sabbatical) one thing I will bring back to my work is a new way to consent patients.
I have watched members of my family being led down the route of major treatments in health care with little or no guidance. Presented the "facts" and asked to choose.
That is bullshit. This is a trust business, an opinion business.
My job is to diagnose, decide and recommend.
My role in the business is to facilitate a culture that promotes that.
All of our patients will know, openly and honestly what our philosophy is and the good points and the bad points of the approach.
Honesty, integrity, transparency and expert opinion.
This will create a reputation and people who like this approach will come to us because they like that approach.
People who don't, won't. I'm cool with that.
To offer choices is one thing.
To abdicate your professional and ethical responsibility to stay safe, that is quite something else altogether.
(I saw Chris today on his bike, going to work. How can it be that the guy who is off work for 7 weeks looks so bad and the guy on his way to work looked so good? He looked about 1000 x more of a cyclist than I ever do. The Sab is a funny thing, a bit like winning the lottery. I started to chat to Chris but he had to go to work. Mostly time is something to be shared not enjoyed alone, not too much anyway. Loved that helmet btw Chris).
Blog Post Number: 1180
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