You can’t run it in first gear all the time, you’ll burn out the clutch, your fuel economy is terrible, and you won’t chew up the miles.
Similarly though, you don’t get the opportunity to stick it in top gear and drive at 80 mph on a straight motorway with no traffic for all that long.
For years I used to write in this blog about the Campbell day on the 26th October when I used to break psychologically and then try to start rebuilding myself over the following few months after the rush from the start of September to the end of October had been terrible.
For the past few years, I managed to avoid that and get my life in some sort of order and balance but sadly at the end of October it happened again.
I broke, collapsed and crumbled (at least in private), as I try to drag myself through the day-to-day of what was a terrible week.
I know it’s bad because I try to eat as much cr@p as I can possibly stuff down my throat and all urge to train goes out of the window and the urge to hurt myself on a bike is substituted by the need to hurt myself at work.
All the things I know I need to do to take care of myself become the most counter intuitive things in the world, sleep, eating, rest, meditation, exercise, friendship, all of those things take a back seat as the beast takes over.
It comes from the overwhelm of work and the general overwhelm of life together with the dark nights, the loss of daylight and the shortening of the days overall.
It takes a few weeks to adjust and for me to take a long hard look at myself and then the cycle begins again but this time towards improvement.
I should know better than this by now, I keep walking down the same street and falling down the same hole.
I managed to take a detour for a few years there but fell back again.
The trick now is to change the street again, the trick now is to get back to balance after what has been the most extraordinary year.
It’s alright if you’re breaking, as long as you have the means to recover again.
The network, the people to talk to, the people to lean on.
Make sure you find them and make sure you’re honest and open because that’s the best way forwards when you hit the 26th October.
Blog Post Number - 2544
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