Over the past 15 years or so, I've been fascinated by the subject of leadership.
I think fascinated because over 10 years ago I was asked to lecture on the topic of leadership at the dentistry show (or some other type of event), and then I had a spate of 2 or 3 or 4 times being asked to talk about that subject.
I was never sure why I was asked to go and do it, but I did and researched it a bit and then the fascination grew from there.
It was lucky that I did because I realised that it was so important to lots of the different things I was doing in my life, not least the coaching of the boys' football team (extraordinary leadership required there), the school governance project and working within the Education Trust, (extraordinary efforts of leadership required there), and obviously in my own business, and most importantly, being a dad.
If you could look at the world from a leadership perspective through the lens of leadership, it does help you navigate the difficult circumstances.
One of the best metaphors and examples for that was the boys' football team, because what became very clear to me early on is that I had a mixed-ability group of players, some who were not that bothered about playing football and some who were really bothered about playing football.
It became abundantly clear again that if I didn't look after the ones who were keen to play football, I would end up with no team.
This sounds harsh to many people, but it's absolutely true. Football is a competitive sport, and if you're not playing with people at your standard, then you will give up, leave or go somewhere else. What I realised was that if I looked after the people who were weaker in my team who didn't turn up all the time and who weren't that bothered, they would ultimately leave anyway, but very quickly the ones who were more committed would go somewhere else, and therefore there would be no team, and what I was trying to do and what I was trying to create would disappear.
What happened around that time was conversations with parents about the direction of the team and where we were going, and what was required. I knew that it was my team because I was the one putting in all the free effort as a volunteer, and I knew that I was working within the values of the club as it'd stated, and so even though conversations were tricky and difficult (I never cast anyone out). It was absolutely essential, and our team went on to be super successful in its own way and create some extraordinary memories and moments for the people involved.
The same thing happens, though, when you're parenting or doing anything else in terms of leadership; there always comes a point where you're asked to say yes or no.
“Please, can my son play football in the team anyway, even though he's not that bothered?” - the answer is no.
"Please, can I have this bright shiny object that I would really like to have because my heart tells me I want it?" Often, the answer is no.
"Please, can we cover this up and not tell people that we've done something wrong?"
"Please, can we not be strong and adhere to our values?"
"Please, can we not commit to being better every day?"
The answer is no.
It's always easy to say yes. Yes gets people out of the way; yes gets the work off your desk, but knowing that just because you can doesn't mean you should is one of the hardest things to do, but perhaps one of the most essential things to do.
Blog Post Number - 4557