Currently, I'm listening to The Psychology of Money, the book by Morgan Housel recommended to me by Dom at the practice.
It's an extraordinary book, and you should read it too. And one of the things it explains really well is how people develop their attitudes to money (a topic that I've been interested in for the longest time)
We are all a combination of what we have felt and what has happened to us, and therefore, our attitudes to money are entirely personal in a way that it's impossible to understand how someone else got to where they are.
Money is so personal that we get quite judgy about money and how other people spend their money or what they do with it because we're convinced that our attitude toward money is correct.
But in listening to Housel (it's a great audiobook), I was struck by the fact that we are all a collection of what we have felt and what has happened to us in almost every aspect of our lives.
And so, in that case, you go back to the principle of 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", but as Frank Turner said, "Things didn't kill me, but I don't feel stronger. Life is short, but it feels much longer".
And so, I'm not sure whether seeking out experiences that change us is for the best if it hurts you so much that it almost kills you, but actually, just being curious about things and going outside of left field and doing things that just don't generate income, or just don't generate career progression, or just don't generate success, whatever that is, is perhaps the best way to become a better, greater, more rounded individual with an attitude that is perhaps a little bit less toxic.
My attitude to money was definitely cemented in my upbringing (we were not wealthy in any way), and so understanding that I had to work to get stuff and it was never going to come was instilled in me by my parents (particularly my Dad, who has the most extraordinary work ethic).
I got more comfortable, though, after becoming a dentist because it got easier, but then all of those scars were reopened again in 2020 when I almost went to the wire in a way that I will probably never change again because that influence was so great.
What I have to understand, though, is that not everybody went through that (in fact, almost nobody went through that), and not everybody was brought up the way I was brought up.
And so, however, you find your relationship to money that's yours, isn't it? And my relationship is mine.
And then, all of a sudden, we can have great empathy for other people when we see that sometimes they make decisions that do seem less wise, but to them, they are actually based on the things that have happened to them in the past.
Blog Post Number - 4097