It's impossible to be nice all the time.
I think 90% of the time, it's really quite hard, actually.
When I looked after the boy's football team when they were seven years old, some boys just weren't footballers and not good enough, and there were others who were flying and moving away.
To be nice to everybody, to look after everybody, to keep the team together was impossible.
When I say nice, I don't mean unkind.
You should never be unkind to anyone deliberately, but you can't keep someone in a boy's football team who can't even kick a ball when the rest of the boys at the other end are flying and trying to win.
Mixed-ability groups never work.
Running a team of any kind means it's not possible to be nice all the time.
Being nice all the time, making sure everyone's looked after and being fluffed and protecting them from anything difficult or problematic loses resilience. It makes everyone lazy and entitled and not interested in challenge or change.
The balance between nice and challenge, the balance between telling people, "It's alright not to be here if there's a better place for you," is tough but essential.
Blog Post Number - 3559