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It's always fine... until it isn't.
There was a standing joke in the practice today, because there were two ladies who came in to see us for one reason or another. She seemed to think that I had aged reasonably well (for my age) and referred to me as ‘Candy’. It was meant as a compliment, and that's how I would take it, and I had a laugh with the guys about it, using my usual phrase, which is ‘when you get to my age, there's no such thing as bad attention from anyone’.
Of course, though, taken too far by anyone, it's too far. Other things happened today where other people in the practice were spoken to by people who were guests of the practice in a way that wasn't ideal, it's not OK to approach someone and to pester them, it's not OK to assume that someone is there for a purpose for which they're not, it's not OK to invade people's personal space, or to intimidate someone, and it's your job to understand what intimidation looks like.
Last week in Istanbul, I was sitting in the education committee of the ITI, and I was chatting to a lady who looks after medical education for Straumann (it's an extraordinarily important job).
She explained to me that the Women's Implantology Network (WIN) are having their own conference as part of the meetings of the week, and they were meeting the following day in a sold-out 160-person room.
I asked if it would be appropriate for me to attend just for 1 or 2 lectures, just to understand what the content was like in that particular group in relation to my work as the editor-in-chief of the ITI Academy, and to make sure that the material that we were pushing out there was appropriate to everyone who consumes it, and so I ended up at the back just for two lectures around about 11 o'clock sitting on my own, watching as the brilliant ladies of that group stood up and presented some extraordinary work.
In the first instance, though, I was somewhat intimidated and almost aggravated by how the message was about this being a safe place to be, to be able to dress or speak in a way that was normal, instead of having to conceal who you actually were or what you actually stood for.
I first of all thought that this was ridiculous, and the fact that it was clearly fine to be a woman speaking in implant dentistry, and then later in the day, I was talking to a lady, who's 20 years younger than me, about 20 million years ahead of me in implant dentistry and speaking and presenting.
I started to explain to her that I was misunderstanding the wind collection until I got told the stories of sexual harassment and intimidation that had already happened to her as a young speaker in the ITI.
She's a strong woman with a huge character, and she manages to bat this stuff off, but even explaining to me that it wasn't possible for her to wear what she wants on stage, because the concern is that people will be looking at that and not looking at what she's presenting, was a real open moment to me.
A little bit of that happened today in the practice, only a little bit, it's OK until it isn't, but understanding how far to take a joke or how far to take an introduction, or the fact that people are not sitting there waiting for you to ask them out, is important as a part of your developing emotional intelligence.
Blog Post Number - 4545