Last night I talked about cinema club here and we saw ‘Living’ with Bill Nighy.
Not to give away anything crucial in the film but Mr. Williams played by Bill Nighy dies (this is actually the point of the movie) and it’s the story about how he knew he was going to die and how it changed him.
This is an age-old tale told in many different ways and this film is in fact a remake of a Japanese film from 1952.
It’s very, very beautiful though and I believe the point of watching films like this is to see them not just to watch them.
Part of the plot involves a group of work colleagues exploring whether they think Mr. Williams knew that he was going to die before his actions changed to be more empathic and altruistic.
There is a flashback of Williams exiting a meeting with a group of ladies for whom he is trying to achieve something, and one lady says to him “I don’t know how you kept your temper”, Williams replied “I don’t have time to be angry”.
“I don’t have time to be angry”.
I watched this and as I saw it that particular scene burned a spot in my memory.
Immediately prior to the film starting I was ridiculously on my phone and I received an email about work which is, in all honesty, just a bit disappointing.
It’s the type of news though that could make you angry or sad or bitter, but the truth is I don’t have time to be any of those things.
I’m 51 next birthday and more and more I understand how finite I am.
A younger version of me on receiving an email with news like that would have got anxious and upset and bitter and angry and would begin on a crusade but I simply don’t have time to do that anymore if I want to do all the other things.
I think this is what my best friend, Craig Wales, calls compart mentalisation.
Take the things to do with your work which are less than you would like and put them in a box.
Open and close the box as you need to deal with it to allow you to get on with the rest of your life without that thing itself impacting on any other aspect.
One thing I’m sure about as I enter well into my sixth decade is that I’m trying my best.
I’m never, ever sure that my best is anywhere near good enough but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I’m trying my best to do the best job that I can and to be decent and to look after people.
That knowledge combined with the fact that I understand that I have a limited time left to do my best is allowing me to use my boxes in the best possible way.
“I don’t have time to be angry”
Blog Post Number - 3277