Self-deprecation is perhaps one of the most unattractive traits a person can have, particularly when (on the face of it) they’re doing pretty well.
It is unfortunately one of my great weaknesses and one of my great character flaws. It’s not disingenuous, it is genuinely meant truthfully; I generally have quite a low opinion of myself at the best of times (there I go again, self-deprecating) but there is a antidote, a handle you can hold on to, something you can try and help yourself improve if you suffer the same affliction as me. It was given as a gift to me by my great friend Ross Anderson from Aberfeldy in Perthshire who always seems to be able to put my head right back into the right place (thanks for all those times Ross)
Recently when I was having one of my self-deprecating festivals, talking myself down for various aspects of my life, Ross answered (paraphrased) “stop treating yourself for badly, you’d never treat anyone else the way you treat yourself but you”
That is perhaps the best answer you can give and perhaps the one that makes you think the most. I would never be so negative to somebody else, I am generally compassionate and generally delighted when anybody achieves anything, I don’t really suffer jealousy very badly and am happy for other people’s successes. Perhaps the antidote to self-deprecation is to try to treat your own successes the way you treat other successes and it can be one more way to work on one of your character flaws.
Blog Post Number: 843