About two weeks ago they turned up outside my practice and shut the road to build a crossing as part of the cycle network. It will be shut until at least the end of March.
As a result of this our parking is significantly reduced around the practice and we can’t park in the staff car parking areas. It’s no drama; I just park in the next street over and walk down to the practice.
I returned back to my car today to an anonymous note underneath my windscreen wiper telling me that I was inconsiderate for parking outside someone’s house in a way that meant no other cars could park around me (i.e. taking up too much space) and asking me to consider this the next time I park outside someone’s house. It said that if I worked at the Volkswagen garage across the road then I should park there and if I was ‘parking and riding’ on a bus then I should park somewhere else.
The ins and outs of this are not particularly significant (when I’d parked the car I’d reversed as close as possible to the car behind. Clearly the cars around me had moved during the day to create gaps) but it’s the anonymous and un-researched note that is the problem.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hung up on this, stressed or particularly upset, I just think it highlights the issue if complaining anonymously.
If the person who had written the note had put their house number I could have knocked the door and explained what had happened – they would have felt better and so would I. I would make sure that I didn’t do anything in the future to upset them but all they’ve done is create conflict which cannot be resolved and can stress about it. The next time my car parks on the road they will think I am ‘defying’ them when in fact I don’t know who they are.
The same thing happens with Google reviews or online review forums where people are able just to hide behind their comments when they have no intention of ever looking you in the face again. Even when the notes are not anonymous and we don’t have the facts we still jump in, particularly on things like social media, and make a comment, which sparks all sorts of carnage when in fact it wasn’t meant to. Everyone knows that a text conversation is much less personal than a phone conversation, which is much less personal than a face-to-face conversation.
If the person who had written the note and put it on my car (it was a long note, the obviously had a lot of time) had used that time to just think about the possibilities of what had happened when I parked my car, i’m sure they wouldn’t have bothered writing it and maybe would have waited until tomorrow to see if my car had returned. It almost certainly won’t.
Court conflict or resolve conflict. You have a choice in how you approach things. It’s much nicer to bat the conflict away.
Blog Post Number - 1230