Talking to strangers (podcast part 1)

by Colin Campbell on 01/07/20 18:00

I’m in Dublin, in a bar.

I can remember it vividly, as I sit here I can picture it although I can’t remember when it was, probably early-mid 2000’s but I'm not exactly sure.

The bar had a wooden floor which had previously been varnished but was quite worn and I remember that well.

I’m on a stag do and we’ve just arrived.

We’ve had drinks at the airport, it’s the middle of the afternoon (or maybe it’s the morning) and we’re just starting to drink.

I find myself talking to someone called Paul.

He babbles.

He talks at like 100mph and seems a bit nervous.

God I remember this so well, I’m ashamed to even recount it now.

I think I’m better than him, I think he’s a bit daft and I’m not sure why he’s on this stag do with people whom I like, respect and consider to be my peers, my equals.

I’m not sure he belongs.

When I managed to sneak away, I go to the groom and quietly say “Who is THAT guy?”.

The groom replies ….

“I was best friends with his dead wife”.

…………………………………………………………...........................................................

It turns out Paul’s wife had choked to death in front of him on a piece of food.

She was survived by her 2 children and her husband.

You’re never quite sure who you're speaking to or what their backstory is or what they’ve been through or what they are going through or where they are going.

Maybe it was then that I learnt that lesson, but I have certainly learnt it.

Sometimes it takes shame to teach humility or patience or humanity perhaps sometimes just experience.

A few weeks ago still in lockdown Andy (Legg) decided he was going to start to produce a podcast for the Academy as part of the work we do to try and get our name out there and to show people what we do and who we are and what we think.

Andy is brilliant at technology so it seemed like a good idea, it also seemed like a good idea that I didn’t have to do too much, and he would just make it happen.

He decided he would record it on Zoom (oh Zoom …) but would also put the audio out as a proper podcast and he interviewed me for a starter.

We know each other well and it was just a conversation that we have when we’re chatting at the practice so not sure why anyone would want to listen to that.

The second one he did though was a 90-minute interview with Dominic O’Hooley.

And this is the point of this writing here; is that you never know what someone’s backstory is or you never know what they’ve been through or what they are going through or where they are going until you hear it.

Dominic is, to say the least a controversial figure in Dentistry who polarises opinion.

He has been accused of being in a number of negative characters or to have bigotry traits or be an outright right-wing fascist.

Dominic is also one of my closest friends.

I met Dominic in 2013 at the ADI congress in Birmingham on a bike ride and our friendship developed from there.

We rode our bikes in places and in ways that other people rarely have and during that time we were able to talk about the things in life which we both find most important.

We were able to talk honestly and candidly with each other without trying to be someone we were not.

In 2016 I lost the ability to run (Dominic was an exceptional fill runner) he understood how hard that was for me.

In 2018 he nearly lost his life on his bike and cannot ride anymore so we can’t share bike rides or running anymore.

It’s important for me to tell you that because I watched for a long time Dominic’s ‘performance’ on social media and how he managed to garner a group of people who utterly hated him but without in anyway understanding his backstory or what he has gone through or what he is going through.

See the next blog post for how that influenced my view of social media.

If you know Dom then you must listen to the podcast even though it’s 90 minutes long because you will find out things that you didn’t know and you will be all the better for that.

If you hate him or find him uncomfortable to speak to or particularly to read, then you must listen to the podcast too.

For so many reasons, now we must all learn the ability to talk to strangers and to empathise with the stories they have to tell (inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s book Talking to Strangers).

Blog Post Number - 2416

So we also have a podcast ..... (4)